Let’s put the “fun” in funeral, baby.

It’s helpful to have an intentional outlet to interact and examine something as profound as death. Even better to make it a collaborative process.

Make it a party. Or maybe a cozy potluck. (This article is still being heavily edited while I figure out what I want/need to do.)

What is it all about?

It’s about being able to picture your own corpse and feel some sense of warmth or peace. It’s about being able to cordially look death in the eyes before your time comes, and to be at peace when you realize death is always in the room with you.

Questions to Consider

  • Who do I invite?
  • How much space can I adeptly hold for the vulnerability of others?
  • How long or short a leash do I keep on conversations, and how prepared am I to gracefully direct the conversations (and the rest of the event) if anyone is „hogging the spotlight“?
  • How can I incorporate casual breaks to avoid burnout on heavy topics?
  • What materials do I need for each guest?
  • How much space can I adeptly hold for the vulnerability of others, and how do I prepare for strong emotion?
  • What are my personal “red lines” for topics that feel too raw or inappropriate for the group setting? (e.g., specific graphic details, unresolved personal trauma unrelated to the theme.)
  • How will I handle a guest who becomes overwhelmed and needs to leave the conversation? (Do I have a quiet, separate space designated?)
  • How will I transition the mood from a solemn activity (like the Eulogy Project) back to a lighter one? (e.g., A physical stretch, a drink refill, or an immediate light prompt.)
  • How will I transition from one activity to the next without sounding overly authoritarian? (gentle cues like lighting a candle.)
  • Have I prepared the physical space in advance so that I am not setting up during the event?
  • What is the final, concluding action or statement that will signal the end of the formal event? (e.g., A final collective toast, a closing reading.)
  • What is the single most important outcome I hope each person takes away from the event?

Setting

The vibe I’m going for should transition throughout the event. Somber for the eulogy, but holding onto a playfulness and curiosity, in a cozy atmosphere. More details to be determined.

Activities

Discussion

Either structured or casual

  • How has death affected you in your life so far?
  • What would you say your relationship is with death right now?

Eulogy Project

30-45 minutes of writing what you hope your eulogy sounds like. Sharing optional, but as the host you need to share.

Final Mile

What immediate action would you take if you found out you were going to die?

  • Materials Setup:
    • Provide small, uniform slips of paper (2–3 per person) and a pen.
    • Place a communal bowl, hat, or decorative box in the center.
  • The Prompt (5–10 minutes):
    • Explain the scenario: “You have just learned you have exactly one year left to live. The rules are: you are financially secure, and you are physically capable. This is about what you must do, not what you can’t do.”
    • The Task: Ask each guest to secretly write down two “Mortal Moments”—things they would drop everything to do in that final year. (e.g., “Learn to speak Tagalog,” “Apologize to my old boss,” “Finally submit my novel.”)
    • Instruct them to fold the paper twice so their handwriting is hidden, and place the slips in the central container.
  • The Game (15–20 minutes):
    • The host mixes the slips and draws one at random.
    • Read the slip aloud.
    • The Guessing: The group discusses who they think wrote it and why. This is the funniest and most connective part, as it reveals how well they know each other’s deepest aspirations or hidden regrets.
    • The person who wrote the Moment reveals themselves, and then briefly explains the motivation behind it (the serious takeaway).
    • Continue until 4-6 moments have been read and guessed.

Impact Object

This is for closing the event.

Other Approaches to This Sort of Thing

I didn’t want to label what I am attempting as it is still in its infancy, but after some research, it seems to fit into a broader growing movement called Conscious Mortality or Death Positivity.

Living funerals

Death Cafes

Death Over Dinner

Potential Future Events

  • A living funeral for anyone interested. We could take turns, with one funeral per event.
  • A will writing party.